Missing You, Missing Me (You and Me Series Book 1) Page 9

  I don’t know how long I was in the hallway before the door opened just a fraction, making me fall back into the room. I looked up to see Ethan with bloodshot eyes. He was staring down at me. I glared at him, and he almost flinched.

  “Can we talk?” He said. My chest was heaving; I was trying so hard to calm the urge to kick him in the face. I stood up and let him open the door all the way to let me in. He shut the door behind me, and I glared at him, crossing my arms.

  “When I first got to Cali, we stayed in this mansion. Well you know it, you’ve been there I'm sure.” I had been there. We were signed to the same record label. They owned a gigantic mansion that they let all of their clients use. We only stayed a night here or there and never had our paths crossed with Cruel Distraction.

  “We were the shiny new toys there. There were parties all the time and one of them Duchess came to. I wasn’t big into it all. I was still pretty depressed. She saw me in a hallway and decided right then and there that she wanted me. I needed that. Cleo, after you and my mom and my brother abandoned me, I needed someone to want me,” he told me.

  “We weren’t perfect. Hell, most of the time I didn’t even like her. But she was there. She stayed. She called me, and came to visit, and never once insisted our relationship be a secret. That’s why I moved on so fast. I deserve to feel wanted!” Tears that had been resting in the corners of his eyes were now falling down his cheeks. His big blue eyes seemed even bigger. He pushed his pointer finger into his chest.

  “I deserve to be loved,” he said, his voice cracking. I leaned forward quickly to embrace him. He tensed, but after a moment relaxed and let me hold him. He was right. Again. He did deserve all those things. I was awful. How could I have treated him like that? I cried alongside him. I never wanted him to feel unloved again. He didn’t do anything wrong. It was always me.

  By the time I pulled away, we were only sniffling. Looking up into Ethan's eyes. I wanted so much to kiss him. He pressed his forehead to mine. I loved it when he did that. I knew looking into those gorgeous, bloodshot eyes we were going to be okay.

  Sitting there, holding on to him for dear life I thought only of him. For the first time since Ethan came back into my life I wasn’t comparing him to Christopher. I lay in his arms, enjoying this stolen moment. Who knows when we would have this time again.

  Ethan pulled away. His eyes gazed upon me with such longing I could feel his need for me. I watched his eyes fall to my lips, and then back up at me. His breathing grew heavier. I watched as he slowly lowered his lips to mine.

  His kiss was tender and slow. I opened my mouth slightly and felt him open his. His hands were around my waist, his fingers touching the skin that was exposed.

  “Cleo,” he whispered as his mouth went from my mouth to my neck to my collarbone. I moaned, but only when his lips started moving further down did I snap back to reality. I pushed him away, and he stepped back confused.

  “Ethan, we can’t. We just can’t,” I stumbled, trying to figure out what just happened. I didn’t have any time to think before there was a pounding on the door.

  “Hey, lovebirds! Get out here! We’re heading to the studio! They want us there in twenty,” Adrian shouted through the door. Ethan mumbled an apology, and I tried to apologize as well but was failing. I was so embarrassed. I hadn’t meant for that to happen. Walking around the suite, I grabbed my cell phone and wallet. The whole time not making eye contact with Ethan. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking troubled.

  It felt like the walk of shame coming out of that room. All six of our bandmates were standing on the other side waiting for us. When we opened the door, cheers rang out through the hall. I could feel the heat rise to my face. I looked over at Ethan who was laughing. He ran his fingers through his hair and shrugged at me. As if to say “eh, what can we do?” But I could only scowl and pray the heat left my face quickly. I knew they were only joking but if they only knew what had just happened.

  After everyone got their laughs, we continued downstairs and got into a large cab. “Have I told you how much more fun tattooed people are to see naked?” Ethan whispered in my ear once we started moving. I glared at him, afraid that someone could have heard.

  “What are you talking about?” I snarled. I had changed in my bedroom. He chuckled.

  “Don’t act like you didn’t take a peek when my towel fell off,” he accused. I blushed. He leaned in even closer. His lips grazed my ear. “Your towel didn’t cover nearly enough,” he whispered. My heart began to race. I glared as he was smiling at me, playing innocent. He laughed. I glared at him and prayed everyone else's loud chatter drowned him out.

  “I can’t wait until I can get a better count. I only got to four,” he said, a little louder than a whisper. Now I was sure people heard. I saw Mark whip his head around and stare at us. I looked away from him back to Ethan. I punched his arm, and he pretended that it hurt, pulling away and holding the spot. “What was that for?”

  “Cleo always was weird after sex,” Adrian said nonchalantly, not taking his eyes off his phone.

  “I don’t think they did it,” Derek replied.

  “How can you tell?” Christian said. I paled. This was another example of my bandmates having no boundaries.

  Mark cleared his throat and sat up straight. He took off his glasses and breathed on them, fogging up the lenses. Then he cleaned them on his shirt. He did this all rather slowly, making a show of it. When he finally put them back on, he stretched and then clapped quickly.

  “Ethan just whispered to Cleo that he had only counted four tattoos of hers. That means most likely he saw her neck, her ribs, her wrist, and the one right here,” He pointed to his right pectoral. He was correct.

  “Ding, ding, ding!” Derek shouted. I glared at them to shut up but of course, they wouldn’t.

  “Just wait until you get to number six,” Mark said to Ethan. Mark looked at me and winked. I stared at him with disgust. He bumped fists with Adrian. “We got your back man,” he said. Ethan just laughed and pulled me closer to him. Reflex made me want to pull away, but I liked this. I snuggled in closer and pulled my legs up onto the seat.

  “So are you ready to record?” He asked me. I put my hand to my chin and rubbed it thoughtfully.

  “I suppose. Although, my partner could work on his pitch,” I accused. He raised his eyebrows.

  “Oh really? Because last night I distinctly heard someone’s voice crack at the end of the first chorus.” I pulled away from him, mock offense on my face.

  “How dare you,” I started, and he held up his hands. He had a silly, amused smile. “I’m just calling it as I hear it,” he retorted, and I rolled my eyes. Moving back to relax on him again. He put his arm around me. He was so warm.

  We started chatting with the rest of the group then. I tried to put what happened in the hotel room out of my mind. That would only distract me.

  When we got to the recording studio, we jumped out and hurried inside. The technicians and both of our managers were there already. Stepping into the booth with my band and Ethan, we started warming up. I grabbed the headphones and microphone. I glanced at Ethan who was doing the same. I looked back at my bandmates as they played quietly in the back, waiting for my cue to start up. He was eying us, looking uncomfortable. He was used to his own band.

  The song was played last at shows now, instead of the battle of the bands' thing. We did still use the crown and hype the contest during the show. We just didn’t have the winner play an encore. Instead, we sang our song with Cruel Distraction, but Sam insisted we try it with both bands to see what version they liked better. Mark, Adrian, Derek and I volunteered to play first.

  “What do you guys warm up to? I can try to do mine with you,” Ethan said. Derek snorted which made Adrian, Mark and I crack up. I couldn’t hold my smile back. I nodded at them, and they started up our usual song. Ethan listened intently to Derek and Adrian play but only when I started singing did he burst out in laughter. He was clutching
his gut in pain. It took everything in me not to join him.

  This had been a tradition since we were kids. Derek’s mom loved country music, and since we were in her garage, she insisted we learn to play something she liked. It wasn’t our thing, and we always hated it when she would try to enter us into county fair competitions, but now it was a fun joke. So today we played Shania Twain’s ‘Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under.’ One of my favorites.

  I was feeling brave with Ethan there as my audience. I smiled at him and raised my eyebrow as I sang the words directly to him. He didn’t blink. I don’t think he was breathing. I moved closer to him, swaying and putting my hands on my hips and shuffled over to him I got right up to his face. I was right; he wasn’t breathing.

  Finally, he turned quickly to his mic and belted out the chorus, falling right into step with us. Smiling at me the whole time, he didn’t falter once. I tried not to let it trip me up. We finished the song together, and when the band behind us stopped playing, they started cheering. I think Mark even whistled. Ethan turned red with embarrassment. He glanced at them and then turned back to me with a small smile.

  “Well that’s a first,” he laughed. His eyes turned a little more serious. I pulled away from him and smiled.

  “Yeah, little inside joke. Do you need something to warm up to?” Ethan squinted his eyes in thought and then turned to the guys.

  “I don’t really know any country. We usually do some classic rock. Do you got anything?” Adrian’s eyes lit up, and he started strumming a familiar tune. Derek caught it quickly and started the bass. It took Mark half a second more, but quickly they were playing a familiar Blondie song. Ethan considered the song, then grinning he turned back to his microphone to warm up. I joined in, and we sang ‘Hanging On The Telephone.’

  Maria Maria played our original song and then had us switch out and let Cruel Distraction play. After a long debate between the techs and both Kyle and Sam, they decided that we would record the song with Cruel Distraction. My bandmates were disappointed, as was I, but I understood. The other band knew the song better. However, I insisted that when releasing the song that the credit be given to both groups, and not Cruel Distraction featuring Cleo De La Rosa. It was a collaboration of both bands. Everyone agreed with me.

  Once we were warmed up, we started working on recording the single. Overall I felt it went pretty smoothly. We finished it by early evening. My voice was only a little sore. We all left the building in good spirits. Sam informed us that we would have the rest of the evening to relax but first thing in the morning we would be shooting the video.

  “There’s a party at the house if you guys want to go. But it’d be smart to stay close, in case we need to get going quickly,” he said, in almost a warning. Adrian flinched, knowing that Sam was talking directly to him.

  All of us agreed that we just wanted to relax at the hotel, so that’s what we did. We spent the evening hanging out, having a few drinks. We sat around the pool for a while. Everyone was in swim shorts that the label had provided, but I was sitting in a t-shirt and shorts. They had supplied me with a ridiculously skimpy lace bikini. I tossed it right back in the bag. It didn’t bother me though. I was still having a lot of fun with everyone.

  Ever since our kiss that morning I couldn’t help but notice Ethan hovering around me. I was becoming paranoid. Did anyone else notice? Could they tell something had happened? No, nothing happened. It was just a kiss, I told myself. I was being ridiculous. I shut it down before it could go any further.

  We kiss on stage every night. I’m sure they’ll make me kiss him for the video tomorrow. It was nothing. It meant nothing.

  While everyone else was in the pool, I lounged around in a chair with Ethan next to me. When he finally stepped away for a bit, Adrian came to sit with me. “You are lucky they gave you your own room. Derek already threw up in ours,” he told me. I laughed, thrilled I didn’t have to deal with that for one night.

  “Who got the single bed?”

  “Me of course. I threatened to force them to spoon naked with me if they tried to make me share.” We laughed. Adrian liked guys, yeah, but he wasn’t flamboyant or super horny, like the stereotypes. That and we made a pact. We both agreed that no amount of money could get us in bed with Mark or Derek. We were all way too close to each other to have sex. Adrian was the exception of course, but it was different then.

  “So, did you do it?” He asked me. I glared at him, ignoring the question. Finally, I decided to speak.

  “Would you have if you shared a room with him?” I asked, looking over at Ethan who had just come back from the bathroom. He scratched his nose and looked our way. Smiling, he chose to leave us be, and jump in the pool with his bandmates.

  Our attention turned to the game of Marco Polo. It was harder for them to all play with beers in their hands. I was sure we were about to get kicked out. Ethan glanced over and smiled. He then bumped into a closed-eyed Spencer. Who then grabbed him and shouted, “Got one!” We laughed, and Adrian turned to me again.

  “And where does he rank on the scale from best to worst?” Adrian asked me. Normally I would be appalled by anybody asking me that, but it was Adrian.

  “Well, since we haven’t done it…” I started, but Adrian cut me off.

  “You mean done it again,” he pursed his lips together and raised his eyebrow. I laughed and slapped his leg.

  “Yeah, yeah. Well, all I can judge are his kisses,” I said. Adrian raised both of his eyebrows and smiled coyly.

  “Off stage kisses?” I couldn’t stop the smile from forming. His eyes shone with glee. I instantly felt regret. Why did I reveal that? He would tell the guys.

  “Don’t tell anyone,” I said quickly, and he just waved his hand dismissively.

  “So, he’s good with his mouth?” I rolled my eyes, relaxing.

  “Number one,” I laughed. Adrian would keep my secret. “Without a doubt,” I added. He looked over, faking a look of hurt and pain.

  “Remember I am on that scale somewhere too!”

  “Yeah, and where do I rank on your scale of best lays?” I demanded. He softened and turned his face the other way so that I couldn’t see him. Adrian always had a hard time looking at someone when he talked about serious things.

  “One,” he sighed. I swung my head back to him, confused and surprised; but he hurried on. “Not because you were great or anything but because you were the only one I had any sort of real feelings for. Don’t worry, when I finally find someone else you will slide down that list. Most definitely.” Really? He couldn’t be serious for one full minute.

  “Well if you keep talking, you are going to drop behind Steve!”

  “Oh, come on, sneezy Steve? You’re kidding me!” He took offense to that. I laughed, thinking back to the boy I lost my virginity to. A guy in a band from the next town over. He had an odd quirk in the bedroom. When he orgasmed, he would sneeze, and he never covered his nose. It was disgusting. We fizzled pretty quickly.

  “Oh yeah, maybe I should call Steve up and see how he’s doing,” I teased and stood up as we saw a staff member from the hotel came out to kick us out.

  Chapter Six

  I Wanna

  We fled the pool before we were kicked out of the hotel itself. Everyone got off the elevator on their floor, leaving Ethan and me to go up one level.

  Once we were alone, I felt the mood shift. Suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. I wondered if he could feel it too, this awkward tension. Was he replaying our kiss in the room earlier? I was. I didn’t want to be, but I was. I didn’t know whether to address it or pretend it didn’t happen.

  After setting my things down on the counter, I went to my bedroom and dug out some pajama pants and a large shirt. Putting my hair in a giant bundle on the top of my head, I stepped out of the room. I decided I would wait for him to bring it up. If he stayed quiet then obviously he wanted to forget it.

  Looking around, I saw Ethan already changed into some maroon colored pajama bottom
s. When he saw me, he came over and extended his arm for me to take it to head downstairs. It felt more friendly than romantic. I hooked my arm in his, and we left the room.

  We stepped into the elevator and, as the doors closed, Ethan, still holding on to me spoke. “Are we going to talk about it?” He asked. Thankfully we only went one floor down, so it opened quickly. I hurried out, not looking at him.

  “Nope,” I said and knocked on one of the doors our bands had.

  Ethan let go of me. “Are we pretending it didn’t happen?” He continued. I focused hard on the peephole. Finally, the door swung open. I sighed with relief when I saw Adrian in his pj’s holding a bowl of popcorn.

  He glanced at us and lifted his chin. “What’s up?” He asked, not moving to let us in.

  “I’m trying to talk to Cleo, but she's stubborn,” Ethan told him. I looked over at him, my mouth open to protest. Adrian raised his eyebrows, clearly amused.

  “Well if that’s the case, Cleo, come in. Ethan, sorry. Go play with everyone next door.” I ducked under Adrian’s arm and hurried into the room.

  “Really?”

  I turned back to look at him from the safety of the room. Adrian nodded his head. “Really. I’ll talk to you later,” he said, shutting the door in Ethan’s irritated face.

  Adrian came into the otherwise empty room and shut the light back off. He had been watching a movie. I got under the blankets with him and moved to steal the warmth from his body. He raised his arm to let me get closer. “Are we going to talk about it?” He asked.

  “Nope,” I said.

  Adrian didn’t argue and turned his movie back on. He wanted one night of peace, so he kicked out the guys. We were an hour into the movie when someone knocked. We looked at each other, as I got up. Moving towards the door, I felt for sure it was Ethan. I paused and took a deep breath. My heart was beating furiously. Was he coming to try to talk again? I grasped the handle and opened the door quickly. My heart sank. It was Sam.